Personal and Positive Anger Management

A man is about as big as the things

that make him angry

Winston Churchill

We all become upset about things. Once in a while, we might even be moved to anger. But if anger is becoming your go-to response for most things, then it is time for you to give some serious consideration to personal anger management. In order for you to be able to master anger management, you need to gain control over your emotions. You will need to develop a mindset that allows you to think before you act or speak.

If you do not learn to control your anger, you will eventually destroy the relationships around you and cause physical and emotional harm to everyone, including yourself.

What about “justified” anger?

Anger serves an important purpose for individuals. Anger is an emotion that tells you that something is wrong. It may even help you get out of dangerous situations, But sometimes the threats are just a matter of perception, rather than real, and the anger is not an appropriate emotion.

Of course, anger itself is not the main problem here. And, even though it may be useful, and even “justified” in some specific instances, for the most part your goal has to be to learn how to express yourself in healthier ways.

How to I keep cool?

1. Do not react. Think about the all of the situations that have gotten you into trouble in the past. Very likely you reacted immediately to the problem or threat at hand with angry emotions. Whenever you find yourself in a stressful situation, it is important that you withhold rash reactions. Think about what is really going on, and then decide how you truly feel about everything.

2. Time. Make Cool Down Time. You are not always in a situation where you can take as long as you wish without reacting. If you are feeling extremely angry, make sure you take a few moments of cool down time before you speak, and certainly before you act. Before you react, try something mundane like counting to ten in order to give yourself at least a moment to get into a better mindset.

3. Stop worrying about the others. Sometimes you feel badly about other people’s opinions of you. When you get caught up in making everyone else happy, you wind up forgetting about yourself. This is one way your emotions can take control of you. And…

” If other people can control your emotions, they can control you!” ~ martina

4. Get some exercise. A daily exercise regimen can help you to release tension, energy and emotions. If anger arises, you can also go out for a walk or play some sports as an outlet for that anger. This is one of the reasons I am a black belt in Tai Kwan Do.

5. Stop with the grudges. A grudge only end up hurting you in the long run. Learn the art of forgiving, forgetting and releasing. This will bring peace to you and the person you are holding a grudge against.

6. Practice Relaxation. Anger arises more often if you are feeling tense and stressed. Study different relaxation techniques that will help you to unwind. Some of the more popular techniques include:

• Yoga


• Meditation


• Taking a bath


• Deep Breathing


• Listening to Music


• Dancing


• Journaling

7. Learn to express your anger in healthier ways. The trick to this is not to try yo completely ignore your anger, or shut it down, like it doesn’t exists. the idea is to find better ways to express it. After you have taken a moment to cool down, consider your words and communicate why you are feeling angry in a calm fashion.

Do not suppress the anger

You may think that you have mastered your anger, but you may actually only be suppressing it, which can make everything worse. When you work to suppress your anger and bury it deep inside, it will come out often in undesirable ways. You may begin to feel overly stressed, develop headaches, or you may even start to have problems with your blood pressure. Your mental health may begin to suffer as well. Suppressing anger has been known to lead to life-long problems with depression.

And if you find that you cannot get a handle on things, you should seek the help from a health professional.

Getting upset, even angry, are normal feelings. What you decide to do with the anger is totally on you.

Thoughts?Photo Credit: Stephen Poff via Compfight cc

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