You Only Live Once (But You Have to Be Born Twice)

Yes, I know, that sounds like a very deep, intense statement. Or just plain crazy…whichever way you look at it. In my own defense, let me say that I am the intense kind. I’m passionate about life, I have strong opinions and I always like to get below the surface to know more. Until recently, I wasn’t exactly sure why I took an out-of-the-box approach to things. Although I have always aimed to and done things differently, I hadn’t really thought about why. I have found the answer in this quote I came across from famous educator, William James:

“There are two kinds of people: the once born and the twice born. The once born people never stray from the familiar territory of who they think they are, what they think is expected of them and what they think they can accomplish. Twice born people pay close attention when their soul pokes through their head through the clouds of a half lived life. They discover a path to a more genuine, radiant and enriching reality, and they go for it.”

I guess my “soul pokes through my head” frequently and I just “go for it”. I know I have only one life to live, but I am not satisfied living it the way I was born to live. In recent months, I have had the enlightening experiences of sharing life lessons with the likes of Jay Abraham and Anthony Robbins. In addition to a renewed zest for life and learning, I have also gained refreshing, new perspectives on business and marketing.

Jay’s well-known Strategy of Pre-Eminence reminded me of some simple truths one tends to forget so easily in the humdrum pace of everyday life. In the context of B2B marketing, I consider this strategy immensely useful. Here is a quick, succinct summary for you:

• Pre-eminence means being seen as the most trusted advisor in your market.


• As the pre-eminent choice of those that place their trust in you, your role is to make a profound and sustaining difference in their lives and always be there for them.


• In order to remain a pre-eminent advisor, you will never let your community move to something that is not appropriate and beneficial. You do this because you genuinely care and know what is right.


• To achieve pre-eminence in the world of business, you have to fall in love with your customers.


• Practicing the strategy of pre-eminence requires you to be committed to empathy—stepping into the customers’ shoes and thinking and feeling like them.


• A pre-eminent advisor provides a focus that comes from clarity of thought, an understanding of real challenges, hope for a long-term relationship and absolute, unshakeable trust.

With most of us B2B marketers, pre-eminence appears to be the most overlooked quality, and yet, it is to my mind, the most essential.

To win love for your brand, you have to give love. You have to show your customers you love them and that you really care. Love your brand; love your customer; leads will come!

5 Things You Can Do to Become the Pre-Eminent Choice for Your Customers

1. No more Show-and-Tell. It’s only Show. Your customers don’t care if you tell them you are the best. In fact, nobody cares. You have to show how and why you are the best so your customers can draw the conclusion on their own. They don’t want to hear it from you; it has to be a ‘discovery’ they make on their own (with all the right signals and indications from you).

2. Remove the barriers. In order for your customers to see what you are capable of, you have to minimize the hurdles so they can see clearly. Make it easy for them to evaluate your strengths and overlook your weaknesses.

3. Offer genuine help and advice. That’s different from merely providing information. When customers see that you truly care about resolving their challenges and offering them the best solutions, they begin to trust you as the pre-eminent advisor.

4. Allow them to sample, touch and taste. Comfort comes from familiarity. Don’t push your customers into complicated contracts and large transactions until they have had the chance to sample your product or service. Once they feel comfortable and are more convinced about what you can do for them, they will be happy to buy more. You will become the pre-eminent vendor/supplier, but not until the customers are ready to deepen the relationship.

5. Don’t be satisfied with ‘good’ or even ‘great’. Take a page from the life of Steve Jobs who was obsessed with creating the “insanely great”. In following the strategy of pre-eminence, you aim to change people’s lives by doing insanely great things. You CAN, ultimately, help change the world; but you have to believe you can.

You Only Live Once (But You Have to Be Born Twice)